Poetry - the Science of the Cosh

To begin with let us hit ourselves over the head with a poem.
Weigh it up. How heavy will the blow be?

You listened in your physics class didn’t you. Yes that’s right, physics not English Literature (actually I am not sure what you call it now, but we just called in English. English class - all encompassing. By God we knew what that meant. Shakespeare, Yeats, John Donne, and a composition. I didn’t even know about the five paragraphs. A composition - fantastic word - maybe life was rosy in those days after all.)

Anyway, the physics of poetry - how heavy will the blow be - well that depends on density.
There you have it folks. The poem is supposed to be the big heavy lump of metal. Kind of like a cosh. You know, all concentrated for maximum effect. Whack!

Thing is, there is a science to the cosh too. Too light and it has little effect. Too heavy and you can’t get the proper swing. God bless us but they taught us the works at St Pats in Cavan. So you want to be a poet. Swing the cosh and not just any old cosh, but a cosh of perfect distribution.

How do you make such a thing? Well not in English class for sure, but maybe Metalworking. I was too academic for that in St Pats, didn’t even get the choice.

Accounting or Woodwork, English or Metalworking.

(More in a while)